Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Give and Take

So relationships (or the lack thereof in my case) have been the theme of these past few days. I had someone tell me last weekend "You're a machine" because I was going non-stop at work. At the time I was like, "yeah, that's right.....I can outwork anyone" but then later on I got to thinking how much truth there was in what she said. Over the past few months I have become a machine. Currently I am taking 16 credit hours at school (which is just over a full course load) and working two different jobs. The average number of hours I work per week has been up anywhere from 25-30. In essence, I am working almost full-time and going to school full-time. Somedays I do feel like a machine. I drag myself out of bed in the morning and get myself going and I don't stop until I fall back into bed, usually late. I cannot remember the last time I had 9 hours of sleep. I usually average around 5 which means I'm coming up short. Somedays I am school from 8:30 am-12:00 am working on homework and going to class. Other days I go to school until 3 and then work an 8-hour shift. I have no time for a life. Somedays I can barely check my email I am so tired when I get home. I have no time to feel and have thus lost emotion. I have become insensitive and cold but somedays it almost seems easier than what I was "feeling" last semester....other days not. Some days I don't feel human because I feel inadequate in relating to other humans. Then there are days when I have a redemption moment when I really connect with people. Like yesterday after my lab I stood in the hallway talking to 3 of my classmates.....one of which I had never met or spoken to before. I quite enjoyed that.

So for the past few days/weeks I have been reflecting on my life. Last semester my counsellor and I were talking about how I tend to be monogomous in my relationships and pour everything into one person. Then we got to talking how it is better to branch out more so that all of your eggs are not in one basket so to speak. However, I have no baskets right now. There are really not relationships in my life at this time. In a recent conversation with a friend we were talking about "give and take".....a phrase so many of us use often. But what does it mean? Does it have an absolute meaning or is it different for everyone? See to me, when I think give, I think "listen" because that's what I do best. Those who know me know I am not much of a talker most of the time. I think I take after my dad in that regard. I have never been good at the "expressing my emotions" and when asked a question I will sometimes give brief answers because half the time I can't think of words to describe what I am thinking.....a girl of few words....that's what I've always been. I give (and perhaps take) by listening and that has always seemed to be my role in relationships. Other people give by talking and still others give other ways. So really.....to toss a question out there because I've just kind of been kind of wondering about this....who defines the giving? The giver or the receiver? What defines give and take? Those are my musings running through my head as I ponder how I give and take or if I just give or just take.

4 Comments:

At 12:01 AM , Blogger Brian and Karen said...

ah sweet...we'll have to hang out at the retreat, I hope it's a good time...

 
At 3:18 PM , Blogger Brian said...

Interesting point. Some people to give by giving great advice while other give by opening their time for others to take of it what they will.

I have been thinking about this in the context of friendship too. Sometimes people have different views on what friendship means. Simply assigning that title to a relationship does not mean that it will be all that you expect it to be. It takes work on both parties. I have friends that I haven't spoken with in months, but I still love them. If they were willing to call me, or I remember to write to them then I would make time for them.

Life, so complicated.

 
At 11:54 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Karen.
No one defines the giver and no one defines the taker. Just being a friend means you are doing both.
I think this quote sums up a lot of what you are questioning:

"A world without a friend, what would it be? It would be like a world without water, something you need. Friends are like glass, once broken, they are hard to fix. Keep your friends, as you would keep your water."

or...

"Friends are like thighs...always sticking together."
- I like this one.

I love you.
Lynette

 
At 11:19 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Karebear,
Yeah, you are crazy busy....sometimes I wonder if you even have time to breathe but what you said about the baskets....I understand where you're coming from. Sometimes it feels like you have 10 baskets then before you know it, it feels like they disappeared....it sux. Keep on goin girl...you'll be alright...I know you will.

I love you Karen.

 

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