Men are apparently dogs.....but sunshine makes me happy

OK, before anyone of the male sex gets all riled up and sends me threats, let me explain this totally non-sensical title. So I was on my way home and I had just finished my canvassing for Heart and Stroke Foundation. I was feeling pretty good because I had just met some nice people and most of them were pretty generous (this year I collected a whole whopping $60, but it beats last year's $20). I was walking on the street because one guy was cleaning off his driveway and I didn't want to get in his way by walking through. A car with like four guys was turning onto the street I was on and they slowed down and one of them opened his window and shouted "Looking pretty good there! Arf! Arf!". I was just like, "what the heck?" First of all, guys don't ever look at me that way (and I'm glad they don't because this whole incident made me realize I really don't want that kind of attention) and secondly, what makes guys think that barking and acting like fools will earn them respect of girls? Granted, there are some sleezy girls who enjoy that kind of attention and would respond to that, but not me. I mean, my first reaction when some guy hoots, hollers or barks at me is to be repulsed, disturbed, and almost lose my lunch (or supper, or breakfast, or any other food I have just eaten). If any man wants a reaction or attention from me, he'd better be looking at my insides first. And I don't mean my intestines.....

Anyways, to the "bright" (hahahaha) part of my post....sunshine. I am truly like a plant....I need sun and water to be healthy. This last week for me has been really really rough for no particular reason. Its just one of those times when I am struggling through another nasty bought of depression. I haven't felt this down or helpless for about a year. I realize that it takes awhile to work out and work through depression but it makes you feel so dang helpless, inadequate and lonely. I mean, when I'm depressed I like to go out to try and cheer myself up but I'm not super good at socializing on the best of days, and when I'm depressed I'm even worse at it. So if I do manage to drag myself out when I'm depressed I usually don't really interact with others which leaves me thinking that no one cares and then I feel even more depressed and just want to go home. However, when I get home, I get more isolated and feel even more helpless and lonely. Its a nasty cycle and I'm praying God will show me what I need to deal with in my life and how I can start working through this. Anyways....Saturday was a really, really bad day for me. As soon as I woke up I wanted to cry and I felt totally helpless and hopeless. I'm not even sure why. I needed to go out and do my canvassing for Heart and Stroke but I really did not want to. Even as I was walking along, I was ready to cry and had to work really hard to hold it back because I didn't want to show up on people's doorsteps with blotchy eyes. It was a gorgeous day and the sun was shining. The people that I talked to as I canvassed were all very nice and some of them even gave (YEAH!!!). By the time I was done, I had been gone about 1 and 1/2 hours. I felt much better after I got home. I think it was because of the sun, exercise and fresh air. I know something like sunshine promotes the release or creation of serotonin which makes you feel "happy" and I think it definitely worked for me that day. I mean, I wasn't bouncing off the walls with happiness, but I felt like there was at least some hope. The same thing happened to me today as I went out. I was feeling kind of down when I went out and when I came back I was feeling better. I almost think that part of it may be the fact that I got to talk to some very nice people as I canvassed cause I know that cheers me up, but I also know that sunshine puts in me in a good mood, especially when I can be outside on a sunny day. I am most productive and optimistic when the sun is out. I find it easy to study when the sun is out, but hard to when it is dark or cloudy....kind of weird. I hate how my mood is so affected by the weather.