Trucks

K, this is a shout out to April because she is the one that first told me about this song. I can't find a link to post here so that y'all can listen to it, but just read the lyrics. Its hilarious. Keep your ears peeled for the tune. Its been released on the radio now. (Just heard it on the radio, hence the blog). Anyways, hope y'all enjoy. Yee haw!

Corb Lund Band:Truck Got Stuck

The Chev got stuck and the Ford got stuck
But the Chev unstuck when the Dodge showed up
But the Dodge got stuck in the tractor rut,
Which eventually pulled out the Ford
With some difficulty

Well more rain than we’d seen for a thousand years
Caused financial joys and biblical fears
It caused some smiles it caused some tears
But more to the point of our story
For The first time in the collective memory,
That old brown prairie that had been so dry for so long was very muddy
Boggy and sticky
We’d pull one truck out and get another stuck in
And motors would roar and tires would spin
We’d sink right down, down to the diff, and we’d all take turns and do it again
Till no one could move, we’d call one more friend,
Come on out here, we need you…bring your truck

The Chev got stuck and the Ford got stuck
But the Chev unstuck when the Dodge showed up
But the Dodge got stuck in the tractor rut
Which eventually pulled out the Ford
And the Dodge

They got me stuck in the mud, so they couldn’t rehearse
And Chavase too has missed his work
Richie, he now fears the worst, he stood up his ex wife she called him a jerk
Course Holman didn’t have nothing better do to, ‘cept ranch.

The Chev got stuck and the Ford got stuck
But the Chev unstuck when the Dodge showed up
But the Dodge got stuck in the tractor rut
Which eventually pulled out the Ford

Well it was truck after truck, we all got stuck
‘cept the big old four by hutterite truck
We all thought “lord are we in luck!”
But he wouldn’t come anywhere near us,
Mighty neighborly, mighty neighborly.

So we used a lot of our backs, a little of our brains
We jacked up the jacks, and snugged up the chains,
We all did our very best to refrain from shovelin’.
We put what timber we had, underneath the wheels
And we was all out of sand, but managed to steal
Two sacks of the best modern canola seed you ever did see,
That ‘oughta give us some traction

The Chev got stuck and the Ford got stuck
But the Chev unstuck when the Dodge showed up
But the Dodge got stuck in the tractor rut
Which eventually pulled out the Ford

We spilled genetically modified canola seed
That was genetically modified for controlling the weeds
And for big old yields and margarine oil, raised hell all over that native prairie soil
Agriculture Canada is definitely gonna be looking for us

Dreams

It has been awhile since I have dreamt, I think. I used to have the strangest dreams and would amuse my roomates and friends with the retelling of them. I had several dreams last night and they were all kind of strange. In my dreams last night...
-my grandfather was alive living in the same house that Grandma and him used to live in across from the elementary school I attended. Grandma wasn't there, only Grandpa which is strange because Grandpa passed away first. The house had been completely remodeled so that it was modern inside and had a lot of bedrooms for the relatives to sleep in when they came over. We were there for supper, Thanksgiving I think. We were considering staying overnight in the "new" house but Mom and Dad only live like 10 minutes away, so they thought we should just go home to their place to sleep. We used to have sleepovers at Grandma and Grandpa's all the time.

-I was driving on 13th Ave (it looked different in my dreams) and there were kids running into traffic because there had been a parade and they were trying to pick up the leftover candy. I stopped my car, got them off the street and helped them gather up some candy. They left and I gathered up some for myself (there was a lot) and then proceeded to go sit in the city bus that was stopped at a stop. I don't remember wanting to take the bus but I was waiting until the street was clear so that I could cross it (J-walking of course) and leave. However, before I could a school bus rear-ended a semi. There were adults and children on the school bus. They were trying to keep the crowd away so that the victims did not get swamped or trampled. Some of them had been thrown from the bus. They were trying to keep those of us who were on the bus from getting off. I screamed "I know CPR!!!! CPR!!!" so they let me off but not before they tried to trap me in the bus door. I ran out of the city bus and took in the scene. It was awful and scary. I heard someone screaming my name and I was thinking "Oh no, please don't tell me one of my friends was on the schoolbus!" It was my friend Al. He had witnessed the whole thing and was kneeling over a child lying behind the bus. He was screaming "Karen! This one's in distress!" As I ran over the ABC's of CPR were running through my head and for a brief moment I was scared because I was going to have to do CPR on a real person. Then I thought "That's why I took the training". I asked Al if he knew CPR and he did so we were going to do 2 man CPR. We were just going to establish who would breathe and who would pump when my alarm rang.....I never found out what happened to that child or if I was able to keep her breathing until the paramedics came. It all seemed so real I swear I could feel the adrenaline. Maybe that's why I actually woke up when my alarm rang. Stupid alarm!

-I almost sold my 'Bu to some guy. He had just been in an accident with his Cavalier and wanted something better. I was with my dad and my older sister and we were on a road trip. I didn't know what to do. I almost sold it to him and then he said something about the CD deck. He was like "sweet! I don't have to listen to tapes anymore." I was like whoa, whoa, maybe I want to take that with me. Then I also realized that my sister, dad and I were on a road trip and kind of needed a car. If I sold mine, we would be stranded. I remember getting into the car crying because I didn't know what to do and Dad would not tell me. In the end I came to my senses and kept my 'Bu, but not before Becca (who someohow randomly showed up) gave the minister of the local church (we were in some hick town) a piece of her mind. She didn't approve of the way he was treating his congregation members or what he was trying to teach them.

Anyways....strange dreams....hope at least one person who reads this somewhat understands....

Mike Mike Mike

That has been the theme in my life these past few days:

-listening to the CDs that I have that were his
-reading the Christmas card I gave him this last year
-talking about emotional eating and comfort foods on the way to funerals (spawned by a lady asking if she really needed the brownies and coffee to double her Air Miles because she was on her way to a funeral)--> I ate so bad the week Mike died but I didn't care
-cleaning out my email inbox and reading emails from Mike
-disappointment and heartache when I double check just to see if his website is still up and discover it is not and never will be again
-hearing someone saying "poop" and just thinking "POOOO!!!!"
-listening to Trisha telling her testimony (which included Mike's death) in the very living room where I fell off the couch to my knees screaming "NOOOO!!!!" just after I had heard the news and hung up the phone
-remembering that he auditioned for Canadian Idol this year
-recapping Mike's (Julia's husband) first trip to Mike's grave with Julia
-recalling so that I could tell Mike (Julia's husband) what it was like to stand at my friend's grave and try to be strong for the others I was with and then totally breaking down screaming seconds after I thought I was doing fine
-remembering what it felt like to have my heart break
-remembering what it felt like to scream in terror, fear, sadness, frustration, hopelessness, and confusion as I stood there and saw Mike, the guy who was supposed to be my hope and success story, the guy who was me, lying there cold in a casket and then being lowered into the cold ground.
-thinking about how hard it is to say "my friend committed suicide" in a clear voice while looking someone in the eye
-discussing with co-workers what would be a "fun" suicide as opposed to a "boring one"

Mike, Mike, Mike, you have been on my mind and I miss you my friend. I wish you had not left so soon. Had it been some freak car accident that took you I could at least be mad at a drunk or careless driver, something physical. But that' s not the case and I'm left here mad at something else. Something not tangible, I can't put a name to it but it tormented you and drove you to the only final solution you could think of. Life hurts sometimes, it hurts so bad. Its confusing, its frustrating, its angering, its bittersweet, sometimes more bitter, sometimes more sweet. And each morning you wake up is a reminder that you are still in your own life, not in the perfect one you imagined, not in someone else's mind, not in someone else's body but in the same body and mind you were born with and you are forced to cope however you can. Sometimes all we can do is try to cope while we sit there and wonder why....Why do things have to happen the way they do? Why me? Why them? Why us? Why now? Why not now? Why was I created the way I was? Why do I have the thoughts I do? Why can't I shake the monkey on the back? Why? Why? Why? And we hope and pray that we will one day have the answers.....one day our questions will turn to "how's" and we will know why things were the way they were, and why we are the way we are. I hope we can all keep walking, one foot in front of the other until we reach the road of understanding or at least acceptance.

I Just Want You to Know.....Mullets Rock

This is a shout out to all my mullet-lover friends: you know who you are. How you bless my soul.

So usually when I'm at the gym I'll watch and listen to CMT but when they are not playing straight music videos, I don't like to waste time listening to the VJ's/show hosts so I usually flip over to Much Music Top 10 which is usually on at the time I work out and there's this video that is always on there. Its Backstreet Boys....but don't discredit it on that fact alone. Wait 'til you see the Mullets in this vid. I especially like Nick's and Kevin's....they're classic. I am ashamed to admit I even know their names.....but like I said.....the Mullets are awesome so I feel justified knowing their names. I have this song stuck in my head all the time now because the video is so memorable. Every time someone mentions mullets I mention this video but no one had seen it so I decided to be proactive and go find it.

So here you go mullet lovers: go to http://www.vh1.com/artists/az/backstreet_boys/videos.jhtml?popThis=popVideo(57068)
and watch the "Just Want You to Know". I don't watch a lot of music videos but guaranteed this is one of the best ones I've seen in awhile even though it seems like it has nothing to do with the video. Hope you enjoy....I've got to go grease my Mullet.

Chicken's feet and cow's stomach, eh?

So today was my virgin dim sum (is that even how you spell it?) experience. I've wanted to go for a long time, but never had the opportunity to go with seasoned dim summers. I ended up going with about 8 different people after church today, 2 of which were seasoned dim summers and knew the language. When Jess ordered I couldn't understand a word she was saying and was sitting there thinking "I wonder what kind of things she is ordering for us". I had been warned that it was kind of like fear factor so I was a little worried. Overall it was pretty good and I can now add 2 more things to my brag list of gross/interesting things I've eaten: chicken feet and cow's stomach (if that's what tripe is. April looked it up I think and that's what she found out). It was the texture that got to me on both of those. I was told the tripe was spicy but I didn't think it was at all. I was also warned that the hot sauce was very very hot but I found it pleasant-tasting and just right. I even tried squid and enjoyed it. I was also pleasantly surprised with the shrimp dishes we had. I'm usually not a huge fan of shrimp but the way we had it was good. Don't ask me what we had though because I sure couldn't tell you.

I'm very glad I finally got a chance to go for dim sum. It was an interesting experience and I even got along with the chopsticks (used the fork for one dish maybe) . I figure what's life if you just eat the same old thing all the time?

And now....random thoughts

1. I still need a haircut.
2. Cars cost a lot of money.
3. My car looks classy when its clean.
4. The new Honda Civics are nice (although if the Prime Minister or other dignitary needed a car to ride around in, he would still chose my 'Bu over a Civic. Right Kristina?)
5. Texture is an important part of food.
6. Sleep is a gift from God.
7. Its nice to have a day off.
8. Free t-shirts with oil changes are a nice perk....except the shirt smells like oil. Not that I mid the smell of it but others might. Actually, I kind of like the smell of gas and oil.
9. I still can't make good gravy.

Ladies and Gentleman....Karen has left the building.

....and its a shame if you missed her because we are not sure when she will be back in this area.

For 5 days last week I felt real. I felt like who I used to be. I laughed, truly laughed, for the first time in weeks. I smiled as big and as genuinely as I had in weeks. I was able to truly greet people cheerily when they entered the gas station where I worked. My eyes felt full of life again. I FELT.....that is a big one there. One of my friends is going through a really tough time in her life as well and as I have been trying to deal with myself, I have been very insensitive towards her and her present condition. But this past week I truly felt like I could, to some extent, empathize with her. I mean, not like I could totally understand what its like because you can't really until you've been there, but when I stopped to think about what she must be going through with what was/is happening to her body, my heart broke. I would be at an absolute loss as to what to do in that situation and yet she hides it so well and appears so calm and collected. When I stopped to think about what it must be like for her, my heart broke. I felt that and that was the most I had felt in awhile.

But alas, Karen has slipped away again. It was on Monday night when the very same friends mentioned above presented a hypothetical situation involving one of our mutual/common friends. Even though it was completely hypothetical, as soon as I heard the words spoken, my mind was gone like a hyperactive hamster on a hamster wheel. In my mind I was no longer there sitting in the restaurant. I was already living in the future in the scenario I had created in my head. My friend could immediately see that I was "gone" and had switched just like that. Ever since that evening I have been in my apathetic empty state. I go through the motions of every day life but never really feeling anything. I have not even really had a good cry in the past few days. I can't even feel super jealous anymore. All I feel is nothingness if that makes any sense. My jealousy/anxiety seems to have turned into apathy. All I can ever say in resoponse to anything is "I've got nothing" or "meh". Like the world could end tomorrow and even that wouldn't phase me. It is just the feeling that my mind and soul have gone to some other alternate planet while my body remains here.

Last time Karen left, she took almost a month's vacation. I hope this time she's just sitting outside in her limo having a smoke or something. Hopefully she'll be back soon.

And now....random thoughts.

1. If the phrase "I love you" is overused, it seems to lose its meaning. People bug me and tell me that I don't say it enough but its hard for me to say because love is such a huge thing. If you tell someone you love them, you should really mean it.

2. The phrase "I'm sorry" can also be overused. Some people will automatically say it when you are upset but they don't mean it. Someone once explained it to me like this: "I'm sorry doesn't just mean 'oops, you caught me', it means "I see what was wrong with that and I will try my hardest never to do it again".

3. Sprained ankles hurt.

4. I hate fire drills.

5. I need a haircut.

6. If a relationship is a relationship at all, shouldn't both parties decide where it goes? If not, its a dictatorship.

7. Momma was right: letting go is sometimes part of life.

8. Its hard to admit you've been wrong, especially when it comes to relationships.

9. I love cranberry juice.

10. Massage chairs are awesome.

11. Why are the Sobey's employees even bothering to strike?

12. I like angry music yet can still cry during a good love ballad.

13. Wedding Date is one of the biggest wastes of film space I have ever seen.

14. Blockbuster guys can be passionate about their favourite movies. If only we were all that passionate about what we enjoyed.

15. My pool skills are not improving any.

16. I reckon my roomates and me would make some mighta fine hillbillies.

17. You don't really even need alcohol to act and feel like you are intoximicated. (I'm sure many people at the pool hall would agree).

18. I love milk.

Random Ramblings

So one of my friends has started somewhat of a trend on her blog and I kind of like it. She makes lists of what she has been thinking that day. It just makes random thoughts seem so much more coherent rather than trying to string them together into paragraphs. So here we go. What was on Karen's mind today:

1. It can be really hard to be ethical during a test where the prof. has done nothing to prevent cheating (aka letting you write the exam at any time in a 3 hour period at any computer that has Internet access).

2. It is much easier to watch a character in a movie and know what is coming than it is to predict what will happen in your life.

3. It can be really easy to give good advice, yet almost impossible to follow your own good advice you've given to others.

4. I can belong to God.

5. Its hard to go stargazing when the stars aren't out.

6. I love the quietness of the countryside at night.

7. I love the smell of a freshly harvested field.

8. Riding your bike after doing an hour of cardio involving mostly legs at the gym is hard.

9. It really sucks when your water bottle opens and spills in your backpack and onto the table its sitting on but hey, its better to have a puddle in the empty chair next to you than dripping behind you as you walk down the hallway.

10. I now know the technique to quickly drying clothes under a automatic hand dryer in the bathroom.

11. Natural beauty is much better than fake: muscles built up with hard work alone rather than with chemical aid are much better.

12. Working hard at the gym and sweating feels good.

13. I felt empathy for someone today.

14. I miss Mike hugs.

15. Laughter is very good medicine.

16. Its been confirmed: I don't waddle like an obese person when I walk.

So there it is...randomness of the day courtesy of Karen's ever-wandering brain.